PART I
1) I don't like odd numbers. And for some reason, I seem to break 6 into two 3s, which makes it seem odd to me. 8 is my favorite, but 2 and 4 are ok too.
2) Similar to numbers, I'll always pick an end over a middle. Middleground is odd to me - although I always seem to see the middleground clearly in an argument. I understand that nothing is truly black or white, one end or the other, even or odd.
3) I love words. On more than one occasion I've used a word without clearly knowing what it meant, but with a gut feeling that it fit - only to find later that I was right.
4) My dad says he does the same thing. Now, that's ODD.
5) I used to feign injuries or miss the bell to get out of gym class, Field Day, or any other event that required mustering confidence while other people were watching.
6) I think I'm still hiding.
7) I have no fear of sharing my feelings or reading my writing in public. I'm happy to be an open book.
8) I can tell in a minute or less if I want to read a book, and it doesn't take much longer for me to know your story, and what role I think you'll play in my life.
9) I hate olives, and the thought of oysters - although I've never actually tried an oyster.
10) I love ethnic food - Indian, Japanese, Korean, Vietnamese, Chinese, Thai and anything spicy and bold with noodles or rice are my favorites!
11) And just a little food for thought......Try asking people you just met about their food habits - likes/dislikes, how they eat, when they eat, how they feel about watching people eating. People eat and approach eating in all different ways, and like fingerprints, they're all unique and complex, and can tell you a lot about a person. I find it fascinating.
12) I'm obsessed with addiction, and addicted to the obsession. I love reading about compulsion, and watching interventions, and seeing how far people go to fill the void in their lives.
13) I think everyone has their own holes to fill, and I'm intrigued by people who say they're content. People who accept, have faith, don't question, don't want, don't seem right to me.
14) I've never been one to accept, have faith, not question, not want - not ever. I'm not content. I have void. I have holes. Big ones.
15) I'm a perfectionist, a procrastinator, and an under-achiever. I'm all or nothing, and I don't do anything, if I can't do it right. I'm amazed at how often that amounts to doing nothing. Procrastinating. Under-achieving.
16) I used to think it was funny when people said they needed to "find themselves." It's really only funny if you've never been lost.
17) I've learned that it's not hard to get lost. It takes courage and confidence to be who you are, and to not let anyone or anything turn you against your instincts. If you don't know who you are, you need to listen to your gut - because it always knows, and it always protests when you're on the wrong path. If you ignore it, you'll disappear - and you may never find yourself.
18) I've never seen the show "Lost." I've also never seen "24," "Survivor," or many of the other shows people are always talking about.
19) I don't understand obsessions with pop culture, mainstream fiction or politics, but I won't give up the NFL Ticket, NFL Network, or any of my Fantasy Football teams. My involvement in the NFL draft is much larger than my involvement in my community.
20) I hate organizations, associations, boards, cliques and networking. I'm not a joiner, and I don't collaborate.
21) I've accepted that everyone is truly, inexplicably unique and different - and that we can sometimes relate to the ideas and emotions and experiences of others, but we see what we want to see, and we are who we are. Our attachments are based on our beliefs in our likeness, and in the words of Anais Nin - "We don't see things as they are. We see them as WE are."
22) I like the way I see things.
23) I don't count my blessings - they aren't meant to be quantified - but I believe I'm bountifully blessed.
24) I think our lives are all works in progress, and you can go to work every day and participate, or you can feign injury, miss the bell, and sit on the sidelines. But someone's always going to be watching, when you try to muster up confidence, and the threat of losing yourself or never being found is real and true.
25) I've learned that life goes on with or without you, and it happens, perfectly or not. You can choose to procrastinate, and you can under-achieve, and you can latch on to surface friendships, unfulfilling relationships, distractions and careers, but you still wake up with yourself. Every day. And no one will feel the same void. And no one can fill the holes, but you.
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PART II
PART II
1) When I was a kid, I read anything I could get my hands on. I took an IQ test in Kindergarten, because I was bored with my peers. I got a 142, and they suggested sending me straight to 2nd Grade. My mom said no, and I thank her for it. I'm still bored with my peers every now and again, but life doesn't give us the option to hurdle them and move on.
2) I could spend hours on end in a Barnes & Noble. Just seeing all the unread books and the unfilled journals creates a sense of new beginnings - a kind of youthful exuberance, a source of inspiration - for me.
3) I love the feeling of the brand new, the untapped, the wide open territory - but one step in, and it starts to disappear. For some reason, I'm addicted to beginnings. Middles are unsatisfying and ends are disheartening. I like the possibilities at the start, the untainted perfection, the still attainable ideal.....and after that, it loses its appeal.
4) Sometimes I wonder if my obsession with beginnings makes me a commitment phobe - If I can only accept a clean slate, only love an ideal. If I stop writing a story because I'm afraid of making a wrong turn. If I stop moving forward, for fear of fading away.
5) I don't write anymore. When people ask me why, I can't answer them. I think it comes back to commitment and discipline. It's not the process I love - It's sitting in front of a blank screen, opening up with a fresh start. I get so far, and I fear the narrowing of the path - I fear the turning point, when you have to make a choice and you can't go back. Writing is hard, whether you were born with something to say, or not.
6) I still think I was born with something to say.
7) Speaking is harder for me than writing, and if you give me a choice, I'll choose the latter....but I can't understand people who don't communicate. People who won't read, don't listen, can't express themselves, are alien to me.
8) I still haven't decided if I believe in aliens, but the year it was released I saw E.T. on the big screen five times - and I cried every time.
9) I don't cry as much as I used to, but my triggers remain the same - expressions of brilliant creativity, strength in the face of adversity, random acts of kindness, personal futility, dogged loyalty, animal cruelty, undeserved guilt, irreparable regret and paralyzing fear.
10) I want to be liked, I need to be heard, and I hope to be understood. I'm not afraid to admit it. Sparks of likeness are so few and far between, and when I find them they light up my world.
11) I cherish those sparks, but I'm afraid of fireworks - both metaphorically and figuratively. I once wrote a poem about it, and titled it "Burning Tracks."
12) Writing a poem is easier for me, than writing a story. Probably something to do with the beginning and the end being closer together. Less options and choices, less fear of mistakes. Poetry is tighter, more controlled, more precise. If you make a mistake, you can scrap it and start again. There's no consequence, no regret, no need to go back and pick apart your creation to pinpoint your flaws.
13) In college, I wrote a collection of poems called "When I Was Wonderwoman." The cover featured a Polaroid of me in my Wonderwoman Underoos, and the forward referenced the days when I still thought I was invincible.
14) Life lessons aren't learned by taking tests or reading books or skipping grades. They back you into corners, and make you face them dead on. Things like love, loss, and independence. You can't just hurdle them, and move on.
15) I have scars. A small one, from gashing my head on the steps of a sliding board, and some bigger ones from running head first into some of life's more important lessons. I don't think any of those scars will ever fully go away.
16) That being said, each scar tells a story, and it was only the beginning. Right now, I'm feeling my way around the middle, and so far, the path hasn't narrowed too much.
17) One day, I hope to have the courage to set some goals, outline my plot, and make all of the turns without looking back. One thing I've learned, is that without a plot, your story never takes shape, the middle isn't satisfying, and the end will always be disheartening.
18) I'm a big fan of dialogue. Mean what you say. Don't waste words. Pull from the heart. Good dialogue is rare, and so often taken for granted.
19) I think it was Hemingway who said never introduce a gun in a short story, if you don't plan to have it go off. I think that's great advice for writers and youngsters. Have a plan, keep your focus, and only accept what's real and true and important to you. Don't bring anything into your life or your plot, if it doesn't fit into your plan. There's no room for the extraneous, no need for red herrings.
20) At the end of my life, I want to be able to say that I learned to fish. The old saying that says - Give a man a fish, he eats for a day....but teach a man to fish, and he eats for a lifetime - rings so true. I always hope to be self sufficient, to embrace life's lessons, to make the most of my gifts. I never want to be accused of taking handouts, or letting others carry me along.
21) There was a time in my life when I worried that I boarded a moving train, and I couldn't get off. A time when I was looking for direction, and I let circumstances and people shape my world, my beliefs, my goals. I disregarded who I was, and I tried desperately to ignore the constant gnawing in my gut that told me it was wrong. I think I cried every day.
22) When I finally figured out I'd introduced an unloaded gun into my life, I broke free of it. I knew it wasn't meant to be fired.
23) The good thing about life is that it's never really too late. You may cry, you may have regrets, you may have guilt, but there's something important to be learned in every experience. As long as you can take your lumps, pick yourself up, and move on, you'll never have to go back, dissect your life, and pinpoint where you went wrong. You'll instinctively know where to go to make it right.
24) I have good instincts. I didn't always heed them, but they stuck around anyway, and they taught me to fish.
25) My instincts told me to go to Barnes & Noble today. I walked around on my lunch hour, taking in all of those unread books, those unfilled journals, and I felt a kind of renewed hope. I'm glad I didn't skip first grade, first love, first hurt, first loss. I'm thankful for each and every chapter that made me who I am today. I'm tired of looking back. I think maybe it's just the beginning for me.
2) I could spend hours on end in a Barnes & Noble. Just seeing all the unread books and the unfilled journals creates a sense of new beginnings - a kind of youthful exuberance, a source of inspiration - for me.
3) I love the feeling of the brand new, the untapped, the wide open territory - but one step in, and it starts to disappear. For some reason, I'm addicted to beginnings. Middles are unsatisfying and ends are disheartening. I like the possibilities at the start, the untainted perfection, the still attainable ideal.....and after that, it loses its appeal.
4) Sometimes I wonder if my obsession with beginnings makes me a commitment phobe - If I can only accept a clean slate, only love an ideal. If I stop writing a story because I'm afraid of making a wrong turn. If I stop moving forward, for fear of fading away.
5) I don't write anymore. When people ask me why, I can't answer them. I think it comes back to commitment and discipline. It's not the process I love - It's sitting in front of a blank screen, opening up with a fresh start. I get so far, and I fear the narrowing of the path - I fear the turning point, when you have to make a choice and you can't go back. Writing is hard, whether you were born with something to say, or not.
6) I still think I was born with something to say.
7) Speaking is harder for me than writing, and if you give me a choice, I'll choose the latter....but I can't understand people who don't communicate. People who won't read, don't listen, can't express themselves, are alien to me.
8) I still haven't decided if I believe in aliens, but the year it was released I saw E.T. on the big screen five times - and I cried every time.
9) I don't cry as much as I used to, but my triggers remain the same - expressions of brilliant creativity, strength in the face of adversity, random acts of kindness, personal futility, dogged loyalty, animal cruelty, undeserved guilt, irreparable regret and paralyzing fear.
10) I want to be liked, I need to be heard, and I hope to be understood. I'm not afraid to admit it. Sparks of likeness are so few and far between, and when I find them they light up my world.
11) I cherish those sparks, but I'm afraid of fireworks - both metaphorically and figuratively. I once wrote a poem about it, and titled it "Burning Tracks."
12) Writing a poem is easier for me, than writing a story. Probably something to do with the beginning and the end being closer together. Less options and choices, less fear of mistakes. Poetry is tighter, more controlled, more precise. If you make a mistake, you can scrap it and start again. There's no consequence, no regret, no need to go back and pick apart your creation to pinpoint your flaws.
13) In college, I wrote a collection of poems called "When I Was Wonderwoman." The cover featured a Polaroid of me in my Wonderwoman Underoos, and the forward referenced the days when I still thought I was invincible.
14) Life lessons aren't learned by taking tests or reading books or skipping grades. They back you into corners, and make you face them dead on. Things like love, loss, and independence. You can't just hurdle them, and move on.
15) I have scars. A small one, from gashing my head on the steps of a sliding board, and some bigger ones from running head first into some of life's more important lessons. I don't think any of those scars will ever fully go away.
16) That being said, each scar tells a story, and it was only the beginning. Right now, I'm feeling my way around the middle, and so far, the path hasn't narrowed too much.
17) One day, I hope to have the courage to set some goals, outline my plot, and make all of the turns without looking back. One thing I've learned, is that without a plot, your story never takes shape, the middle isn't satisfying, and the end will always be disheartening.
18) I'm a big fan of dialogue. Mean what you say. Don't waste words. Pull from the heart. Good dialogue is rare, and so often taken for granted.
19) I think it was Hemingway who said never introduce a gun in a short story, if you don't plan to have it go off. I think that's great advice for writers and youngsters. Have a plan, keep your focus, and only accept what's real and true and important to you. Don't bring anything into your life or your plot, if it doesn't fit into your plan. There's no room for the extraneous, no need for red herrings.
20) At the end of my life, I want to be able to say that I learned to fish. The old saying that says - Give a man a fish, he eats for a day....but teach a man to fish, and he eats for a lifetime - rings so true. I always hope to be self sufficient, to embrace life's lessons, to make the most of my gifts. I never want to be accused of taking handouts, or letting others carry me along.
21) There was a time in my life when I worried that I boarded a moving train, and I couldn't get off. A time when I was looking for direction, and I let circumstances and people shape my world, my beliefs, my goals. I disregarded who I was, and I tried desperately to ignore the constant gnawing in my gut that told me it was wrong. I think I cried every day.
22) When I finally figured out I'd introduced an unloaded gun into my life, I broke free of it. I knew it wasn't meant to be fired.
23) The good thing about life is that it's never really too late. You may cry, you may have regrets, you may have guilt, but there's something important to be learned in every experience. As long as you can take your lumps, pick yourself up, and move on, you'll never have to go back, dissect your life, and pinpoint where you went wrong. You'll instinctively know where to go to make it right.
24) I have good instincts. I didn't always heed them, but they stuck around anyway, and they taught me to fish.
25) My instincts told me to go to Barnes & Noble today. I walked around on my lunch hour, taking in all of those unread books, those unfilled journals, and I felt a kind of renewed hope. I'm glad I didn't skip first grade, first love, first hurt, first loss. I'm thankful for each and every chapter that made me who I am today. I'm tired of looking back. I think maybe it's just the beginning for me.
**************************************************************
PART III
PART III
1) I believe in soul mates and "Happily Ever After," but still have trouble mustering up faith in the masses or trust in a higher power.
2) I don't know if Heaven and Hell really exist, although I do think everyone keeps little bits of joy and pain stuck in their memories like shards of glass - and everyone needs to brush them into a corner once in a while, or they get to be too sharp, and can cause you to bleed.
3) Life is about creating a balance, and I'm learning it's probably impossible to straddle the median for any substantial amount of time. We constantly oscillate right and left, tipping the scales - and that's what keeps us going every day.
4) Each day really is a new beginning. Perspective is everything, and even memories change with every new angle. Remember to find the light, and move toward it. No bad can ever come from looking on the bright side.
5) In spite of this, it seems we all live a good part of our lives in the dark.
6) On a lighter note, I think it's funny how the things that draw us to a person are often the very same things that make us turn away.
7) They say, "opposites attract." Seems to me, it's a little more than that. Being attracted to an opposite is just a step in the other direction, a migration toward balance. You want what you aren't, in an effort to make yourself whole.
8) What often winds up tragic, is when pursuing the opposite, your original traits are buried or lost, the scale tips, and the creation of the whole becomes compromised. You wind up on the other side, in the dark, and you can't see how to get back to where you were.
9) That being said, we're not meant to go back - not ever.
10) Moving and leaving and learning are all huge parts of life's journey. When you're tempted to regret, revisit, or retrace your steps - Stop, reconsider, embrace the progression, and keep plodding forward.
11) Another thing I find peculiar is our tendency to mask our emotions. Why do we boast when we feel insecure, attack when we're afraid, run and hide when all we really want is to be seen and heard?
12) Hide and Seek is a game we all know, we've all played - We learn young. I've always preferred to be the one to hide, but there are seekers out there everywhere. Don't be afraid. Let them find you.
13) I like word games and puzzles, but don't ask me to speak, draw, bat or throw in front of an audience, ever.....unless you want to see me run and hide.
14) Everyone says, "You're stronger than you think," and I believe it's true. Even so, never take that strength for granted, because Weakness is a seeker, and it will find you - wherever you're hiding.
15) No one is above limitations, and everyone falls prey to life's demons. Remember this when you're masking your own emotions, attacking what you're afraid of, or ignoring what you don't understand.
16) No matter how strong you are, you're bound to need crutches once in a while. Just be careful not to lean too heavily or for too long. If you do, you may never walk on your own again.
17) Walking on your own is hard, but it's worth it.
18) No matter how old I get, and how much I grow, I have an undeniable inclination to act as a buffer. I can't tolerate tension, and will readily take on exorbitant amounts of stress, if it will help to avoid conflict or diffuse tension among others.
19) My buffering tactics repeatedly add to my anxiety levels, but I can't seem to stop. You might hear me refer to myself as a sponge. I love to soak up your woes, solve your problems, and bear your burdens. I must be a glutton for punishment.
20) I've never actually read "Crime and Punishment," but I hear it's a good book, and it's on my bucket reading list.
21) One of these days, I'm going to write my own book. I keep procrastinating, and I can't explain it, but I just don't think it's ready to be born. I secretly believe that one day - after an unspecified gestational period - I'll wake up and know that it's time. You can't pick a fruit until it ripens, or you ruin what it has to offer.....Something like that, anyway.
22) Until then, I'll focus on more relevant diversions like my fantasy football team - a.k.a. the "Low Hanging Fruit."
23) And by the way, I've won two already, but I still think this season is ripe for another Championship. Let's go FRUIT!
24) Come to think of it - besides fantasy football - I don't think I've ever really been a champion of anything, aside from my own beliefs.....and that's ok by me.
25) For now, all I can do is cast the crutches aside, keep plodding along, and know that everyone is out there playing Hide and Seek, sweeping fragments of emotion out of the way, and tipping the scales until they find the right balance. All I can do is keep believing in the light, in new beginnings, and in my own "Happily Ever After."
2) I don't know if Heaven and Hell really exist, although I do think everyone keeps little bits of joy and pain stuck in their memories like shards of glass - and everyone needs to brush them into a corner once in a while, or they get to be too sharp, and can cause you to bleed.
3) Life is about creating a balance, and I'm learning it's probably impossible to straddle the median for any substantial amount of time. We constantly oscillate right and left, tipping the scales - and that's what keeps us going every day.
4) Each day really is a new beginning. Perspective is everything, and even memories change with every new angle. Remember to find the light, and move toward it. No bad can ever come from looking on the bright side.
5) In spite of this, it seems we all live a good part of our lives in the dark.
6) On a lighter note, I think it's funny how the things that draw us to a person are often the very same things that make us turn away.
7) They say, "opposites attract." Seems to me, it's a little more than that. Being attracted to an opposite is just a step in the other direction, a migration toward balance. You want what you aren't, in an effort to make yourself whole.
8) What often winds up tragic, is when pursuing the opposite, your original traits are buried or lost, the scale tips, and the creation of the whole becomes compromised. You wind up on the other side, in the dark, and you can't see how to get back to where you were.
9) That being said, we're not meant to go back - not ever.
10) Moving and leaving and learning are all huge parts of life's journey. When you're tempted to regret, revisit, or retrace your steps - Stop, reconsider, embrace the progression, and keep plodding forward.
11) Another thing I find peculiar is our tendency to mask our emotions. Why do we boast when we feel insecure, attack when we're afraid, run and hide when all we really want is to be seen and heard?
12) Hide and Seek is a game we all know, we've all played - We learn young. I've always preferred to be the one to hide, but there are seekers out there everywhere. Don't be afraid. Let them find you.
13) I like word games and puzzles, but don't ask me to speak, draw, bat or throw in front of an audience, ever.....unless you want to see me run and hide.
14) Everyone says, "You're stronger than you think," and I believe it's true. Even so, never take that strength for granted, because Weakness is a seeker, and it will find you - wherever you're hiding.
15) No one is above limitations, and everyone falls prey to life's demons. Remember this when you're masking your own emotions, attacking what you're afraid of, or ignoring what you don't understand.
16) No matter how strong you are, you're bound to need crutches once in a while. Just be careful not to lean too heavily or for too long. If you do, you may never walk on your own again.
17) Walking on your own is hard, but it's worth it.
18) No matter how old I get, and how much I grow, I have an undeniable inclination to act as a buffer. I can't tolerate tension, and will readily take on exorbitant amounts of stress, if it will help to avoid conflict or diffuse tension among others.
19) My buffering tactics repeatedly add to my anxiety levels, but I can't seem to stop. You might hear me refer to myself as a sponge. I love to soak up your woes, solve your problems, and bear your burdens. I must be a glutton for punishment.
20) I've never actually read "Crime and Punishment," but I hear it's a good book, and it's on my bucket reading list.
21) One of these days, I'm going to write my own book. I keep procrastinating, and I can't explain it, but I just don't think it's ready to be born. I secretly believe that one day - after an unspecified gestational period - I'll wake up and know that it's time. You can't pick a fruit until it ripens, or you ruin what it has to offer.....Something like that, anyway.
22) Until then, I'll focus on more relevant diversions like my fantasy football team - a.k.a. the "Low Hanging Fruit."
23) And by the way, I've won two already, but I still think this season is ripe for another Championship. Let's go FRUIT!
24) Come to think of it - besides fantasy football - I don't think I've ever really been a champion of anything, aside from my own beliefs.....and that's ok by me.
25) For now, all I can do is cast the crutches aside, keep plodding along, and know that everyone is out there playing Hide and Seek, sweeping fragments of emotion out of the way, and tipping the scales until they find the right balance. All I can do is keep believing in the light, in new beginnings, and in my own "Happily Ever After."
When we started sharing our writing, these were your introductory pieces...and I COMPLETELY love these lists...completely.
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